The kind of love I have for him is the
type that I can’t categorically
express. I don’t even know if I
understand what I feel for him. To
me, he’s the only man that makes
me happy and he coped well with
my deficiencies.
I
am this kind of a complicated lady. Several people find it very
difficult to understand me. I’m not a bad person. It just looks to
them like I complain a lot. But, why won’t I complain about
things that don’t please me? Some even do complain that I
can’t be pleased. Well, I don’t know about that, it’s just their
perception about me and I’m not worried. Due to the kind of
person that people see me as, I found it difficult to have a
stable relationship. Despite the fact that I’m a very pretty girl,
I still can’t have a relationship that last long. The
highest period of time that I dated a man was 3 months. I was
just unlucky with guys.
They speak annoying words to me all in the name of starting a
relationship. The one I dated for a day was the most annoying
of them all. When I gave him my “yes” answer in the night, we
spent the next day together and had a memorable time. On
getting back home, I started receiving annoying text messages
from him. He started talking about how he had been looking at
my arse when we were walking. He even went further to
describe how it was bouncing. Bullshit! I got pissed by that and
broke up with him instantly. If I didn’t do that, he would have
gave me more insults. I came across lots of men like that. I
couldn’t just put up with them.
When I met Demola, things were different. He puts up with all
my repelling attitudes. Although, Demola is not handsome and
broke guy, he’s the only guy who has ever swept me off my
feet. He made me see good things about myself. He never
focused on my bad side. I was so comfortable with him.
Despite the way I feel for him, I still cannot figure out the
reason I find it difficult to introduce him to my friends as my
boyfriend. I denied him on several occasions, saying that he
was just a friend. He still would not get angry. Demola is so
calm and God fearing.
He spoke to me about marriage. Deep within me, I knew Demola
was the only man that I can successfully get married to due to
my kind of person. I still could not tell him “yes” for some
strange reasons. I told him to let me think about it and he said I
have the whole time in the world. He said he’ll humbly wait until I
decide.
Now, I’m thinking about how to break the news to my friends
who actually thought Demola was just a friend. At times they
even mock him in my presence thinking that he was just a
friend. That aside, how will I take such a man who’s not
physically attractive to my parents and siblings? I could
remember that I and my other siblings have always been in that
game of bringing
home the most handsome man. Also, my mother had warned me
not to marry unless my man has a good job.
Demola on his part has a job, but, he’s not earning much. He
planned on getting a room and parlour apartment for the
start. How will I narrate the story to my mum, siblings, family
and friends? I’m so in a tight corner and don’t know what to
do. I am such a mess right now!
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