"I Should not have married Frank Edoho" -Wife

In a compelling exclusive interview with TheNetng, Who Wants To
Be A Millionaire’ host Frank Edoho's wife, Katherine Obiang, who
has three kids for the TV host talked about her 7-year old
marriage to Frank. How it should never have been, how they should
have rather stayed friends.
How are your kids?
They are great.
And how are they taking the whole divorce
issue?
We are not really divorced. It’s still a work-in-progress kind of
thing but we are taking it well. When its time for him to see the
children, he does and when its time to return them, he does. On my
part, I
have carried the children along and make them understand they are
not stained because of it. I wouldn’t want them to develop a
complex because of it. We didn’t design for these things to happen
but they do. It's like people who have lost their parents, they didn’t
plan for it but they have to move on. I watch them and I think they
are doing pretty okay especially because we talk about it every
time there is a reason to.
You mentioned that you aren’t really
divorced. Does that suggest possibility of
reconciliation?
No, it doesn’t. We just started the process but there isn’t any
hope for reconciliation. We know we would always be in each
other’s lives because of the children, so we have to be civil. When
the children are getting married for example, we have to hide our
differences and make it work.
What if he (Frank) came back, would you
consider it?
No. Three years have gone by. It will be a whole entire process of
knowing somebody all over again and I don’t have the energy to do
that. We’ve let it burn and I don’t think he will do that.
Do you sometimes miss him?
He had such a great sense of humor. I don’t know if he still does.
His sense of music too, being a radio presenter, and we used to
exchange thoughts on things regarding that, but otherwise, I don’t
miss him in that nostalgic way of…It’s a part of my life I have come
to terms with. I am a solution oriented person. He was part of my
life for more than 10 years (dated for four years and got married
for 7 years).
Looking back at everything, do you wish
you never got separated?
No, I think Frank and I should not have gotten married in the first
place. We should just have been friends because he was an
awesome friend. While I was dating someone else and he had to go
back to his country, he (Frank) was there all through and I had
known him all the while he was in the University of Calabar and we
started our career together. I think we shouldn’t have pushed it to
marriage and just stayed as friends.
Any regrets about that?
No. I have three lovely kids to show for it and of course, every
thing happens for a reason and a purpose. They can only make us
better or stronger people and it has done so for me. I have grown
from what went wrong.
What is usually the cause of the fight?
I think it's impatience, anger and not knowing how to deal with
issue in the now, so you react before you think. It goes like, ‘huh,
how dare you say this to me…is that what you will say?’ I can’t
remember any one in particular, it has been long now, I have moved
on and it’s not a thing that can happen to me again but I always
say no matter what, a man should not raise his hands on a woman.
A woman should also not goad a man too much. It takes nothing
from the man who walks away because once he hits a woman, he
starts to think it is justifiable. Unfortunately, we are in a society
where we have friends that will give you thumbs up for doing that.
A man should be calmer and not react on the now.
Are you making efforts to ensure that
your son isn’t wrongly influenced by this?
I have a son and I talk to him all the time. I let him know he must be
there to protect his sister. They should look at him and feel safe
with him and he knows that. The girls also push him and I caution
them, so it’s a balance.
Were you hit by the rumors of his recent
marriage?
I didn’t want to believe he was because we are still married
(legally). We are not divorced, so I didn’t see how that was
possible and didn’t loose sleep over it. I’m not asking him not to go
on with his life but things should be done properly. We are
separated for three years and now in the divorce process. If he
found happiness and love, then I’m happy for him.
Will you be trying your hands on marriage
again?
You just never know.
If you would, what kind of man would he
be?
You come to a point in your life where you can’t afford to do
things out of adrenaline but with great thought. It would be a more
mature person, someone who is calm and has a fine sense of how
life should be. Someone who is mature, wise and seen life and the
ways of the world and knows what he is doing at every time.
When you think about all that has
happened, does it bring tears to your
eyes?
No, I feel a sense of disappointment instead especially now when
the children come home with questions that I need a man to
answer, if he (their father) were around. For example, someone
to be there for my son at a time when he is writing his common
entrance examination. It’s a feeling of disappointment, but you
know, we have to rise above them and you go on.
What was your reaction the very first
time it happened?
I’m like these things happen in marriages but we think of
reconciliation and getting families involved. It is your first trial in
marriage and nobody gives a guideline about how things are going
to be.
Apart from being part of the Project
Alert, what other steps have you taken
to help women who are battling with
domestic violence?
I talk to them but in the end, I let them know, the decision is theirs.
A friend of mine was involved in this and after we talk, she will go
back to him. No matter what platform there is, it rests on the
individual. It is what I have arrived at. I still share my story when I
have the chance to.